5 Things Military Spouses are Afraid of…

Posted on Apr 14 2014 - 12:00pm by Remy Cruz

Woman Being military spouses has rewarding experiences that you live once in a life time, like traveling, meeting new people, engage with military spouses like you and so on. However, during the transition from civilian life to been part of a military community there are many fears and challenging moments the military spouses can meet on their path. Recalling the first year of adaptation in my transition to a military life, I had to leave not only my family, but I had to quit from my job and leave everything behind to follow and support my husband career, and I will not lie this transition was not easy, however, if you are a perseverance person full of positivism you will overcome all these fears. In other words, it takes time, frustrations, and even a bit of  sanity to keep it up with all these changes we had to deal.

Today I will discuss 5 things Military Spouses are afraid of, and how to conquer those fears.

  •  Loosing a job – Whether you decide to become stay at home mom, or try to find a job, this transition can become overwhelming the first months. If you decide to be a stay at home mom it takes time to adjust to your new life as a full-time mom. When you go to work you have the time to interact and socialize with your co-workers, make friends, and stay busy during working hours. Now, let’s say that after a few months you realize that been a stay at home mom it’s not for you; you can seek for help in ACS (Army Community Service) they have programs where they can help you building your résumé, and they even had job fairs during the year for military spouses. Stay tune to your military installations news, and ACS for these services.


  • Language barrier – Not all of us are native English speaker (including myself) and this could turn into a nightmare for many spouses.  I had known spouses that they do not even go to the commissary by themselves because they are afraid to speak English, or afraid that people might not understand them. In addition to that, Overseas Installations like Germany, Italy and so on, native English speakers could have difficulty with the language barrier. I had been 2 years in Germany and I have to at least learn a few sentences to survive on the economy. Whether you are in the States or Overseas check with your military installation to see if ACS provide ESL (English as a second language) classes. I was the teacher assistant for this program in Fort Carson, Colorado, and I helped many spouses during this transition, and the best part is that you get to know more spouses in the same situation like you; and this will make you feel that you are not alone.


  • Deployments – Every spouse can hate this word just by listening it! First duty station, and first deployment it can turn into a hassle for newly spouses and not so newly too. The first deployment I went back home,  for some reason many spouses find this helpful, in my experience was the worst decision I ever made. I had my two kids, they were away from their home, they missed their routine, bedroom, toys, nonetheless I thought I was doing right, I was not. This is a personal decision, and you can either decide to stay where you at, or fly back home and wait for your husband. I will say you have to experience both.


  • PSCing –  Great time to leave but you have to pack and you don’t know where to start! PSCing is the time when you said good-bye to good friends, you are wondering how is going to be the next place you are moving, how good are the schools, and many questions arise during this time. I will suggest you to take one thing at a time. You know it is time go, first focus in packing your things, get rid of what ever you do not need; make a yard sale! Get busy the first 2 moths working on this. If you have doubts about schools, and housing do your research with other spouses, but never take for granted their experiences! Each person has different lives and maybe what ever is good for your, is not good for them.


  • New duty stations – Once you are settle down in your home, take a time to get to know the installation, programs and things to do around off post. This is all a routine that when you think it’s almost over it starts all over again. You will make new friends, you will start from scratch again, moreover, you need to understand that this will happen every 3, 4 or 6 years depending on your husband orders, so relax and enjoy every new duty station, some of them will bring you good memories, some of them let’s say was not what you hope for, but live one day at time and this will ease not only your live, but your love ones too!

5 Things Military Spouses are Afraid ofYour turn! Even if you are not on the military life, had you encounter any fear during moving transitions? How do you work with these fears?

Do not miss 5 Tips to tackle Your Military Life as a Spouse

Remy Cruz

Remy Cruz

She is regular mom, with ups and downs, and crazy meltdowns. She writes, rewrite, band her head against the wall, while trying to run her house and focus on editing and reedit articles for Busy Mom Monologues™. She doesn't consider herself a soccer mom, but last year found herself taking her little boy to his first soccer game and his oldest son told her "You are officially a Soccer Mom".

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11 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Jennifer April 17, 2014 at 2:26 pm -

    Amen to this! I had been in all this situations.

  2. Jennifer
    May 26, 2014 at 4:31 pm -

    I’m not a military spouse but I’m the wife of a husband who travels a lot for work. I can only imagine what it’s like to be a military spouse.

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the SHINE Blog Hop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.

  3. Remy Cruz
    Remy Cruz May 26, 2014 at 5:19 pm -

    Jenn thanks to you for the invitation! xoxo
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  4. Dawn Teresa July 10, 2014 at 6:26 pm -

    I feel for you and have so much respect for military families. ♥

  5. Judy July 10, 2014 at 8:09 pm -

    Your post, Remy, brings tears to my eyes. Everything you state is true, but the one thing you did not mention, perhaps because it is obvious, perhaps because it is too painful, and that is the constant fear and worry for your husband and friends. As military wives – you become one family.

    I am Israeli and sadly, I know the military only too well. We live with daily worry for husbands and fathers, but more so, for sons and daughters.

    Thank you for your post. It’s an important reminder that behind every soldier there is a wife/family.

    HUGS <3

  6. Clara July 11, 2014 at 11:19 am -

    I think you are all so brave… loosing job would probably be the most difficult thing to face for me… I think you can give a great support to all the military wives, great job Remy!

  7. Remy Cruz
    Remy Cruz July 12, 2014 at 8:25 pm -

    Judy I want to extend you a warm hug! Thanks for your words, and it’s true we are constantly worried about them when they are downrange.

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  8. Remy Cruz
    Remy Cruz July 12, 2014 at 8:26 pm -

    Thanks Clara! I know like me there are many other wives with many meaningful stories.
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  9. Kristina Cleveland Rees July 15, 2014 at 12:46 pm -

    Hi Remy, no I am not a military wife but I am a military brat. My mom however was and she tells me stories of what it was like for her traveling around the world with 5 kids. She always said it is her faith in God that got her through. And before I sign off please know that I so appreciate not only your husband's willingness to serve but your's as well. God bless.

  10. Delia
    July 17, 2014 at 11:47 pm -

    Remy, you are so brave and wonderful! I can only imagine what you’re going through… My biggest move was from my home country Romania to here in Canada. It took lots of courage and time to adapt indeed!
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  11. Remy Cruz
    Remy Cruz July 18, 2014 at 8:02 am -

    Thanks Delia for your kind words, I bet you also had to adapt to your new life in Canada.
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